I walked, at first.
Then I ran.
And I kept on running,
even when I could no longer force the air into my lungs,
and the world spun and stars danced
in front of my glazed-over eyes.
I ran further than I had ever run before,
I ran miles and miles,
and I overheated until I had to
tie my shirt up and expose my
belly to keep from passing out.
I ran through a village,
then another village-and-another
and nobody ever met my eye
I ran down bridleways-footpaths
and ran through fields
with my blade-down-the-back-of-my
trousers and t-H-i-R-t-E-e-N rivers of scarlet
trraaaaiiiiiiling down my arm.
I ran until I was
and my limbs were leaden and my mouth
tasted sweet and-i-had-no-food-or-energy-left
in a field near a road at the top of the hill watching the—
—sun set in reds-and-oranges-and-golds,
blue-velvet hues creeping over the horizon
and my breath returning in flashes of silver
scattered as shards in the sky that suddenly seemed
sOoOo-sAd-AnD-fAr-AwAy and grief
tore from my chest with white-hot-fingers-of-unresolved-
—Promised to look after me and
and so I wait for the stars-to-go-out
NoThInG lEfT iNsIdE—
—The sky is beautiful tonight,
-the beautiful sky, and it fills me with peace
and it’s so quiet and calm I could cry but
i-don’t-have-any tears left to shed—
—So beautiful, so
—afraid that I will never see the beauty again…
I have never run so far—
I have never been so scared—
I would have never got to say goodbye and
that-I’m-sorry and it’s-not-your-fault…
The night is beautiful.